We had just finished dinner one night and the sink was piled high with dishes not only from dinner but lunch too. Billy could tell I was tired and came over to the sink to give me a hug. "They're devouring me."
We both began to laugh so hard, finding humor is what we Crawford's do. And sensing that I needed some quiet, Billy made the decision to take the kids for a walk.
Lauren had defied and pushed me that entire day. I felt so tired from all the "what did we just talk about," to "do that again and it's a time out," and my personal favorite, "I'm going to count to three." I was beaten and needed my own time out to recharge. I finished the dishes , sat down on the couch with a book and glass of wine and did one big huge exhale when I heard Billy outside.
"You're doing it, you're riding your bike all by yourself"
I jumped up, bolted to the window and peaked through the blinds to see Lauren racing down the sidewalk on her bike. ALL. BY. HERSELF.
I grabbed my camera and ran outside. Immediately energized and fulfilled. She got it.
After weeks of coaching and encouragement, she got it.
After feeling like a failure, I was again a winner.
It's amazing how hours of battling can be erased when you see pure joy on their faces. Especially joy that came from something that you helped with. I keep thinking about this night almost everyday since it happened and that amazing mama feeling. Reminding myself to keep doing what I'm doing. That even though it may seem as though she isn't listening, she is.